Take that, says Robbie as he faces his critics
By Neil McCormick
Five critics from leading newspapers and magazines were invited to an exclusive playback of the new Robbie Williams album, only to be greeted by the star himself carrying a large sheaf of - not always flattering - reviews.
"This is going to be fun … for me!" announced Williams, as he read out key lines of criticism and challenged the authors to defend their views.
Time Out magazine was left squirming at a particularly hostile cover story. The Guardian was confronted over its insistence that he wanted to break America - "You are not in my head. You don't know what I want!"
The Daily Telegraph got off quite lightly. "You have written some nice things about me," Williams admitted, though he took exception to my outing him as a singer who uses the computer programme AutoTune in the studio to fix his vocals.
"Everybody uses AutoTune these days," he said. "Have you got spellcheck on your computer? Do you use it? Why is that? Can't you spell?"
In what turned out to be a lively and amusing debate about the nature of pop criticism, Williams admitted that he knew it was a mistake to read his own reviews but he could not help himself.
"I am my own worst critic, so I always believe all my bad press," he confessed. "This is the wrong business to be in if you're sensitive, but the trouble is you only get into this business because you are sensitive."
There were one or two critical misconceptions that he was keen to dismiss. "The thing that irks me the most is that people actually believe there is some sinister Mr Big behind me pulling all the strings. When I split up with [producer and songwriting partner] Guy Chambers, it bent my head to read him described everywhere as 'the man behind the hits' - like I had nothing to do with them."
His new album, Intensive Care, released by EMI in October, has been written and recorded with the former Lilac Time songwriter Stephen Duffy. It represents something of a musical departure for Williams, with a muscular and, at times, quite serious collection of songs drawing on favoured musical influences from his youth, including The Smiths and New Order.
"With Guy, I always provided the top line. The melody and lyrics were mine and he worked on the music beneath. When I went in with Steve, he was like 'OK, you play the synthesiser and I'll get on the guitar', which was a bit of a leap for me but I really enjoyed it. I would fanny about on keyboards and bass and guitar, and Steve would cut all the bits together and make a song, so I gained a lot of confidence."
Williams stressed that, contrary to reports, there was no pressure on him from EMI to tackle the US market following his £80 million deal. His new album would not even be released in North America, he said.
"I've sold 38 million albums. This album, at worst, is going to take me over the 40 million mark. EMI make three quid a record. You do the maths. They have already recouped."
America, he said, was his safe haven, where his lack of commercial success had become a blessing in disguise. "I would have to be mental to invite what I have in the rest of the world to the States, which is really the last place I can walk the streets unmolested. The only way one of my albums is going to get into an LA record store is if I leave it there myself."
He said if he was going to break America he would have tried through film but claimed that he had no interest in acting.
"You wouldn't believe the scripts I have been offered that have gone to top stars and been blockbusters. But I think acting as a profession is silly. It makes me laugh the way actors go on. They're models with slightly more difficult assignments."
Having made his points, Williams admitted: "I feel a bit silly. That was very Alan Partridge of me, wasn't it?
"You lot are not as bad as I thought. It's like Stockholm syndrome, you get really attached to your kidnappers."